iCal sync, alerts fail ...

Is this behaviour by design?

I'm just using native Apple calendar applications with my iPhone 3G and an iMac with Snow Leopard, i.e. not Google calendars or MobileMe.

What seems to be happening is that when I wake my iPhone, to do anything (such as let's say to use email or to open some photos), the wallpaper screen with the slider on it has an iCal item or two on it. I didn't wake the phone to use iCal and I'm busy with what I'm doing, so I just slide the slider and go about my work.

However, since I got my iPhone a couple of months ago, I'm missing all sorts of alerts back on my iMac.

I wonder if what's happening is that:
i) by waking my iPhone with the slider, I'm implicitly acknowledging the alerts, and they are now considered to have been have "viewed";
ii) then later I work with my iMac and defer some of the alerts (such as "show again in 1 day");
iii) then later I sync my iPhone and my iMac;
iv) and somehow the iMac doesn't register a conflict, but just forges ahead with no longer showing the alerts from my iPhone - alerts which I really didn't pay attention to and didn't deal with.

This matters a great deal because I depend heavily on iCal as a scheduler and reminder.

So, are my suspicions correct? Is the behaviour by design? If so, is there a workaround?

I really cannot just disable iCal syncing, because I'm using it frequently from both the iPhone and the iMac.

Thank you.

Charles

P.S. Pardon me as usual if this has already been answered - if so, I can't find it.

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